Adapting

What I Was Thinking ... was that I am adapting. If I keep saying that maybe it will actually come true! It's not a bad thing to pour your life into your children, I think it's what we mothers must do and are actually built to do. But when they are gone, when they grow up and leave your home, it's a killer. I don't know how else to describe it.

Staci called me the other day and you know I always ask her, "e-mail me pictures!" I want to see, I want to be a part of her life. It will be a year since I've seen my daughter and I'm just not made to endure that. *crying now* She hasn't sent the pictures yet, but I know she will; she is so busy but she will when she has time.

Every once in a while Sarah will send me a pic message on my cell phone. Today I got a video of her classroom kids... it was funny and I enjoyed it so much. She's been scrapbooking her wedding pictures and she sends me a picture of each of her scrapbook pages when she is done. (She knows how much I enjoy scrapbooking). I am so thankful she wants to share those little things with me. It's just those little things that make all the difference in the world.

Tried talking to Kelsi twice yesterday on the phone, but both times she had to go; either she had to get ready, or working, or her boyfriend was calling her. But she's another busy girl and she is doing so good. At least she is not that far away.

There is an emptiness, but at the same time there is fulfillment. It's kinda hard to explain; I miss them SO MUCH but on the other hand I couldn't be more proud of the life that each one of them have set out for themselves. I'm thinking deep down it is all for the best and they are each leading great, godly, productive lives so don't you think ...

That's what I should be thinking ...

*~Tammi~*