Home for the Holidays

What I Was Thinking . . . was how much I enjoy the holidays. I am doing my best this year to try and not make it the big hustle and bustle it always becomes. I've already started my Christmas shopping and I plan on wrapping what I have already bought this weekend.

Chris and Sarah will not be spending Christmas with us this year; they are going to Sarah's parents in Florida because for the last two Christmases they have been with us. Sarah will truly enjoy being with her mom and dad this year. Surprisingly, I am really not sad about it. Maybe I am learning to adapt! I just know how happy my son is and that just brings joy to my heart! There's nothing better in this world than to see your kids happy!

Staci and Josh will be coming home for an entire week! It will be a year since I have seen them; that just doesn't seem possible, or right! I just want to hug her ... that's it.... just hug that girl! I miss her SO MUCH.

And, of course, Kelsi will be home the entire Christmas break and Bodi is supposed to spend Christmas day with us as well. I am really looking forward to the kids being home. I love the house being full of life! I love being with my kids ... all of them.

Thanksgiving we are back to our tradition of spending it with my parents in Las Vegas. My sister and her family are coming down as well! We LOVE that time when we can all get together. My mom and dad are very special people and they have kept our family close all of these years.

From now on every holiday is going to be something different and someone added for a while... either someone marrying into our family or a babies being born. There is just so much to look forward to! Can't wait to see what God has in store for us!

That's What I Was Thinking

*~Tammi~*

Adapting

What I Was Thinking ... was that I am adapting. If I keep saying that maybe it will actually come true! It's not a bad thing to pour your life into your children, I think it's what we mothers must do and are actually built to do. But when they are gone, when they grow up and leave your home, it's a killer. I don't know how else to describe it.

Staci called me the other day and you know I always ask her, "e-mail me pictures!" I want to see, I want to be a part of her life. It will be a year since I've seen my daughter and I'm just not made to endure that. *crying now* She hasn't sent the pictures yet, but I know she will; she is so busy but she will when she has time.

Every once in a while Sarah will send me a pic message on my cell phone. Today I got a video of her classroom kids... it was funny and I enjoyed it so much. She's been scrapbooking her wedding pictures and she sends me a picture of each of her scrapbook pages when she is done. (She knows how much I enjoy scrapbooking). I am so thankful she wants to share those little things with me. It's just those little things that make all the difference in the world.

Tried talking to Kelsi twice yesterday on the phone, but both times she had to go; either she had to get ready, or working, or her boyfriend was calling her. But she's another busy girl and she is doing so good. At least she is not that far away.

There is an emptiness, but at the same time there is fulfillment. It's kinda hard to explain; I miss them SO MUCH but on the other hand I couldn't be more proud of the life that each one of them have set out for themselves. I'm thinking deep down it is all for the best and they are each leading great, godly, productive lives so don't you think ...

That's what I should be thinking ...

*~Tammi~*

The Science of True Life

What I Was Thinking . . . was how excited I get about phone calls from my kids. Some people might say I'm a little pathetic, but I don't think so; I love to hear from each of them and I love to hear about what's going on in their lives -- I love every minute of it. And I'm so thankful they WANT to call and tell me things that are happening in their lives.

We used to have a pastor that said your goal is not to make your kids happy, but I don't agree with that at all. I want my kids to be happy, I want them to have the joy of the Lord in their lives. I hurt when they hurt and I am happy when they are happy. So, of course, I want my kids to be happy! What joy that brings to my heart when they are happy and excited about something that's going on in their lives! I want to believe that I had some part in that, I mean in helping them obtain the joy they get just for living their lives the way God would have them.

As promised, I want to share more of Mrs. Harper's 1892 speech which touches on this just a little; about raising your children so that they are strong men and virtuous women with good homes ... a life that will bring your children joy and HAPPINESS.

"The work of the mothers is grandly constructive. It is for us to build above the wreck and ruin of the past more stately temples of thought and action. Some races have been overthrown, dashed in pieces and destroyed; but today the world is needing, fainting, for something better than the results of arrogance, aggressiveness, and indomitable power. We need mothers who are capable of being character builders, patient, loving, strong, and true, whose homes will be an uplifting power. This is one of the greatest needs of the hour. No race can afford to neglect the enlightenment of its mothers. If you would have a clergy without virtue or morality, a manhood without honor, and a womanhood frivolous, mocking, and ignorant, neglect the education of your daughters. But if, on the other hand, you would have strong men, virtuous women, and good homes, then enlighten your women, so that they may be able to bless their homes by the purity of their lives, the tenderness of their hearts, and the strength of their intellects. From schools and colleges your children may come well-versed in ancient lore and modern learning, but it is for us to learn and teach, within the shadow of our own homes, the highest and best of all sciences, the science of a true life."

The science of a true life, enlightening your daughters to have tender hearts so that they will teach their boys one day to be strong men, their girls to be virtuous women and for both to have good character that they may one day have good homes ... you know ... BE HAPPY!

That's what I was thinking,

*~Tammi~*

The Brightest Spot

What I Was Thinking ... was that, as promised, I want to share more excerpts from Francis E.W. Harper's speech of 1892.

"While politicians may stumble on the barren mountain of fretful controversy, and men, lacking faith in God and the invisible forces which make for righteousness, may shrink from the unsolved problems of the hour, into the hands of Christian women comes the opportunity of serving the ever-blessed Christ, by ministering to His little ones and striving to make their homes the brightest spots on earth and the fairest types of heaven. The school may instruct and the church may teach, but the home is an institution older than the church and schools, and that is the place where children should be trained for useful citizenship on earth."

Is that awesome, or what!!! As Moms, we should strive to make our homes the "brightest spot on earth" for our children. Our homes should be peaceful, quiet and full of love and joy! We as moms create this atmosphere in our home for the well being of our children. We have a great responsibility to train our children to be useful citizens in society.

Pictured are my little ones one Christmas (very old picture as they are all young adults now). At the time of this picture it was one of the "brightest spots on earth"; now they have become "useful citizens in society". Create the atmosphere now in your home ~ make your home the "fairest type of heaven" for your children. Before you know it, they will be grown and gone.

That's what I was thinking,
*~Tammi~*

Diadem of a Queen

What I Was Thinking . . . was the great deal of wisdom we can find from other women in history. A couple of years ago I spoke at a Mother/Daughter Banquet and while doing research for my "message" I came across a woman by the name of Francis W.E. Harper; I want to share some of her speech she presented to the Brooklyn Literary Society on November 15, 1892:

"The home may be a humble spot, where there are no velvet carpets to hush your tread, no magnificence to surround your way, nor costly creation of painter's art or sculptor's skill to please your conceptions or gratify your tastes; but what are the costliest gifts of fortune when placed in the balance with the confiding love of dear children or the devotion of a noble and manly husband whose heart can safely trust in his wife? You may place upon the brow of a true wife and mother the greenest laurels; you may crowd her hands with civic honors; but, after all, to her there will be no place like home, and the crown of her motherhood will be more precious than the diadem of a queen."

During the course of this week, I want to share more of her speech. I wanted to keep going to the next paragraph and next paragraph today, because it is so good, but I will just give you a little taste at a time so it can be absorbed.

A blog a wrote last month sometime, I believe it was entitled "Paycheck Mom" or something like that, spoke of exactly what Francis Harper is saying: No worldly honor or recognition can ever top the gratification you get by being a mom and being the wife of a godly man. Then Mrs. Harper goes on to say that all your worldly possessions don't hold a candle to the love of your children and a great husband ~ nothing can compare. Doesn't that just put everything in perspective?

That's what I was thinking ...

*~Tammi ~*

Distance

What I Was Thinking . . . was how excited I am to hear that my daughter Staci will be coming home for Christmas.

You know by now that we have an empty nest, but it's not only an empty nest; the chicks have really flown the coop ... they have flown far away, but I've learned (and still learning) to make the best out of the situation I have. I was never given the privilege of being a part of Staci's dating life, nor Chris' dating life for that matter. Staci is going to school in Florida and I've missed so much of her life. I try so hard to be a part of it and I know she tries her best to make me a part of her busy life, but it is very hard. I'm very thankful that at least I've been some part of Kelsi's dating life since she lives a little closer. I just wish I had had that with Chris and Staci as well.

Staci sent me an e-mail this morning telling me she got the time off of work and she gets to come home for Christmas and Josh is coming with her! I can't even explain how excited I am. The last time I saw her was actually last Christmas. I can't believe I have to go a whole year without seeing one of my kids. How does life happen like this? I want so desperately to be close (in distance) to all three of them, but that is not the life that I will have. Chris and Sarah live in Indiana, Staci and Josh live in Florida and I've been told they want to move back east somewhere, like Connecticut or something like that and Kelsi lives in Lancaster and dating Bodi who says he doesn't want to live in California either. So what's a mother to do? Stewart and I have to figure out how we are going to keep our family relationship close even though there is distance between us. But we will figure it out. Our children mean the world to us and distance just can't matter. But oh how I love it when my kids come HOME.

That's what I was thinking,

~Tammi

My Pearls

What I Was Thinking . . . was I have a husband who loves me. I've been with him for almost 30 years; he was my high school sweetheart. We dated for almost three years and have been married for 27 years. I don't think a day has gone by when we have not said "I love you" to each other.

Stewart has been working at the same company now for almost 29 years. Working...that's an understatement. He has put in some long hours, working both days, swing and mostly the graveyard shift his entire career. You could say that I have really put up with a lot when it came to his job. Working all the time, being tired all the time. But I know he has done this for his family and he would never want to change any of that.

His company (which is a Fortune 100 company) gives awards for your time with the company, like 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 years of service. He would get a catalog and he would be able to order something very nice for himself. In the past he has gotten a company ring from Tiffanys, a nice set of golf clubs, and other things ~ I just can't remember them all. But the reward gets nicer as your years of service is higher.

Well 25 years rolled around and I asked him several times, "Where is the catalog, shouldn't you be getting something soon?" And he kept telling me, "I haven't gotten it yet; I'll ask human resources."

To put this all in perspective for you, let me just say that at the time (as this story is now four years old) he had put in 25 years with a company that sometimes he worked 60 hours a week, he commutes at least 3 hours a day and has worked every shift and has worked weekends. So when 25 years rolled around I wanted him to get something so nice for himself, you know, like patting himself on the back for all of his hard work. I knew the rewards were probably in a pretty high price range so he could get some really, really nice for himself. Do you know what he decided to do as his reward for his 25 years of service? He ordered a string of pearls for his wife! He gave his 25 years of service reward to ME! You can only imagine what that meant to me. I don't think anything else will ever top what he did for me four years ago. I don't know if you are crying, but I am just reliving this! He is an awesome man, an awesome husband and an awesome dad to our three children. He is loved and respected by everyone who comes in contact with him.

This is the kind of man I married, a man that sacrifices for his family, and this is the kind of man I have been praying for that my daughters would marry. I want nothing less for them. That's what I was thinking.

Stages of Your Child

What I Was Thinking . . . was that if life ends when a heart STOPS beating, then when does life begin? Wouldn’t it make sense that it begins when the heart STARTS beating? I just looked it up on the Internet and a baby's heart starts beating at approximately 22 days after conception. I think that settles the debate of the life of an unborn child. What a miracle from God!

This is an old picture of my children and it just seems like a few years ago, but they are 24, 21 & 19 years of age now. Where has the time gone? Did I enjoy every stage of my childrens lives? I can look back and honestly say, "Yes, I enjoyed every stage."

I want to encourage you to enjoy every stage of your child‘s life; don’t miss a thing and don’t try to rush any stage. Don’t keep saying I can’t wait until he starts walking, I can’t wait for him to start talking, I can’t wait until he goes to school, I can’t wait for him to get a job, I can’t wait until he graduates from high school, I can’t wait until he moves out on his own. You can wait. If you keep anticipating the next stage of his life, you can never fully enjoy the stage of life he is in right now. Enjoy and saver every moment, because it goes by extremely fast.

My husband and I have prayed for our children ever since they were in their crib. I can still remember kneeling down at my children’s crib and praying for them, that God would protect them and that one day they would serve Him with their lives. We prayed for their future spouse when they were just in the crib as well. We prayed that God would guide them and guide the parents of their future spouse. That they would be trained and prepared just for our child. My husband and I have just prayed and prayed and prayed for our children and still do ~ every single day. Let me just remind you that it is very important to pray for your child’s future spouse.

Going back to stages of our children’s lives, every stage is so different, but there is something special about each one of them. When you first bring your baby home they don’t do one thing, but cry, poop and eat no fun at all, not playing or even acknowledging that you are around it’s almost disheartening. But take this time to hold your baby and examine every inch of him and just really bond with him in a special way. Pretty soon he’ll start playing with you, cooing, talking. Soon you will be teaching him all sorts of things and just filling his mind with knowledge. He’ll start crawling then walking and pretty soon he will be off to Kindergarten and you will wonder what in the world happen to my little baby. Soon after that you will be taking him to soccer practice and t-ball games cheering him on and knowing he is the best player on the field. Then all of a sudden you will realize that he has just become a teenager and you try your best to remember what that was like and then try to figure out what planet he is on or what he was thinking when he did something so stupid you can’t believe your son did what he did.

And then you are going to watch him walk the aisle and receive his high school diploma and you will be so proud of him and he will thank you for giving him a good home. Then he will go off to college and he will take with him everything that you have taught him and he will be a man. Then he will meet someone so special, that one person that you started praying for when he was in the crib and continued to pray for during his life. You never knew them personally, but you knew God was preparing someone for your child, someone special and they would fall in love with and take all the values that you instilled in them and bring them in this relationship and begin their family with everything that you taught them. Value and enjoy every stage of your child's life. That's what I was thinking.